Projects

 

These past 4 months have been rough without my dear husband.  The missing him is awful.  Half of me is gone, the half that was courageous, who could do just about anything he set his mind to. He enjoyed figuring things out, drawing up plans or having creative ideas and then making them come to be. I enjoyed helping him with everything.  We were a team, a team that worked well together. I’m not saying we were perfect by any stretch of the imagination, we bickered, apologized, forgave and moved on.  Love covers a multitude of sins.

I need and want to do things, to get things accomplished that we started. I now have to make the decisions myself, have to motivate myself and that comes hard.  I can work in the gardens, or with my needlework, or cooking, no problem there, but all of this other stuff that we did together, is much harder.

I keep telling myself that there are plenty of women living alone that do all kinds of things and I can too.  I can hear my husband saying, “Come on Rainey, you can do it, you’re a ‘mountainy woman’, a very good and hard worker. You have ideas, talents, and you can accomplish much, even though I’m not there to help you physically.”  (A ‘mountainy woman’ is one who is not afraid of hard work, who gets out there and helps where she is needed, our definition.)

I’m making a list of things I need and want to do and look forward to doing them.  I just need to start with one project and keep going, until my list is just filled with new projects I want to try or do.

My husband loved working with his hands and I watched and helped him do all kinds of building projects in our 43 years and I know some of that is lodged in my brain.

Grief has a way of deadening your senses at first, so much so that all you can do is basically what you have to do. Yesterday afternoon a peaceful, excited feeling came over me, I can’t really explain it, and for all I know it will come and go, but it was there and I still feel it today.

I am going to start taking care of things that I’ve let slide and go from there.  Jesus will be with me all the way. He is my strength, my motivation, I can do all things through Him.

Life is to be lived every day as best we can.  It is to be enjoyed and be thankful for. Life is not over, it is different, it is continuing. I do not want to lose faith I want to be more faithful and thankful for all of the blessings I’m being given and for the lessons I am learning. God is Almighty and He is working all things out in my life.

Here are some verses for me today, maybe they will be a blessing in your life too. These are taken from the KJV of the Bible.

And whatsoever ye do,
do it heartily,
as to the Lord
Col 3:23 

Every wise woman buildeth her house:
Pro 14:1 

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;
Ecc 9:10 

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 
Phillipians 4:13

And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward:
Not that we are sufficient of ourselves
to think any thing as of ourselves;
but our sufficiency is of God;  
2Corinthians 3:4-5

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Dear Jesus ~ May I continually seek you and your guidance through your word.  Thank you and Amen.

FlowerLady

This is the worst thing

 

that I’ve ever been through. If it wasn’t for God, I would be a total basket case. As it is, I have my moments where I feel ~ what is the use of doing anything anymore. My love who I shared everything with is gone, G O N E. There is not much joy here by myself.

I do thank God though, all day long for my tears, for my blessings, and for drawing me closer to Him. He has brought me to where I am today. He knows every facet of my life. He loves me dearly as He does all of us. This is where I am meant to be, at this moment in my life. God is working in me, strengthening my faith in Him. I am grateful, and wish to be full of grace.

This morning I worked on cutting back jasmine that is in the front hedgerow. It was about 3’ higher than the 6’ wire fencing that we have there. I then cut it all up smaller which filled 3 bags for the county to pick up and turn into mulch, which is then free to residents.

I’ve more jasmine on the west end and that will be another day’s project. I talked to God all morning as things are on my heart, and only He can sort it all out and heal my broken heart.

When I came in later, I thought I’ve got to get a grip here, God be thou my strength. The living room was a wreck, the kitchen needed cleaning up, I had cried several times and then I remembered a verse that was just what I needed, and what I need to remember daily. I just looked it up in my E-sword program and here it is.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 

Colossians 3:23

Here’s another:

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Col 3:17

I am reading the book ‘1000 Gifts ~ A Dare to LIVE FULLY Right Where You are’ by Ann Voskamp. This is about finding joy in our every day lives, in ordinary things. Being thankful for everything, as God works all things out for each of us. Being thankful is trusting God.

Here is an excerpt: “Everything is eucharisteo. Because eucharisteo is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things – take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness.”

Eucharisteo means 

to be grateful, feel thankful

give thanks

the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;  Ephesians 5:20

With that I will close this post.

Thank you all once again for your prayers. They are lifting me up to where I want to be, and that is trusting in Jesus more fully as I live each day.

FlowerLady Lorraine