Life continues day by day

 Dear Ones,

I'm so sorry for having neglected this blog for so long. I've been posting on my main blog ~

FlowerLady's Musings  Although, I've not posted much there either. I'm afraid 2020 was a year that knocked all of us for a loop. Here it is 6 years later, and as the title says, 'life continues, day by day'.

God blesses us with the gift of each new day. In Lamentations 3:22-23 we read:

 

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; 

His mercies never come to and end;

They are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness." 

 ~~~~~~

There are times I've been discouraged, filled with anxious thoughts, fearful, yet our great and awesome God, Jesus, has always been with me. It is because of His deep love and tender care that I keep on going one step, one day at a time.

Here are some encouraging words from Joshua 1.

 

"Be strong and courageous,

Be strong and very courageous.

Be strong and courageous! 

Do not be terrified

nor dismayed,

For the LORD

Your God

Is

With you

Wherever you go."

~~~~~~

Then again we read in Isaiah 41:10:

Fear not,

for I am with you;

Be not dismayed,

for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, 

I will help you,

I will uphold you

with

my righteous right hand.'

~~~~~~ 

 Deuteronomy 31:18 says:

It is the LORD who goes before you.

He will be with you:

He will not leave you or forsake you.

Do not fear or be dismayed." 

 ~~~~~~

Here is more encouragement from Phillipians 4:7-8

 

 "And the peace of God,

which passes all comprehension,

will guard 

your hearts and minds in

Christ Jesus.

~~~ 

Finally, brothers and sisters,

whatever is true,

whatever is honorable,

whatever is right, 

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is of good repute,

if there is any excellence,

if there is anything 

worthy of praise,

think on these things." 

~~~~~~

I am so thankful to be able to grow flowers here in my humble, tropical, overgrown cottage gardens. The scents, colors, shapes are such a joy. My garden spaces are not pristine, they are weedy, growing willy-nilly, they surprise me on a daily basis. They bring me joy. There are lots of butterflies, bees,birds, including humming birds, and there are occasional neighborhood cats that lounge around here.

There is so much fear-mongering going on these days, we can hardly get away from it. But, we are so much better if we can tune it out. We must do so for our own health, mentally, spiritually and physically.

We don't know what tomorrow may bring, God knows, and He works all things out for His honor and glory and our good.

I will now share with you one of God's beautiful flowers from the 'Incense' passion vine. This flower has a lovely scent.

 

Enjoy each day you are blessed with and look for the joys large and small. 

Be thankful.

 FlowerLady

2020 - Clearer Vision - Trusting Jesus

Hello Folks ~ Here it is another new year, not only that, but also a new decade. My pastor said the other day, 'may 2020 be a year of clearer vision.' That's what I desire in my life this year. A new year of trusting in Jesus more in everything I do and for everything I need. 

Yesterday in my devotional time I read again about Mary and Martha, where Martha is all in a tizzy because Mary is not helping her in the kitchen, Found in Luke 10:41-42 and in The Passion Translation it says this: "The Lord answered her, “Martha, my beloved Martha. Why are you upset and troubled, pulled away by all these many distractions? Are they really that important? Mary has discovered the one thing most important by choosing to sit at my feet. She is undistracted, and I won’t take this privilege from her.”  

This reminded me of the book that has really helped me in being a widow. I found it online, a month after God called my dear husband home, 7 years ago last month. It is the best book on this subject, written by a widow. The book is  linked here.  I have read it more than once, it is a go-to book for encouragement. After I started helping with GriefShare, I saw that the author of this book, Carol Cornish, is a contributing author/speaker in the GS workbook and in the videos. I highly recommend this book. For widows, (widowers also could be encouraged by this book), and for anyone who desires to help those who have lost their spouse.

 

 This time and journey of being a widow is a privilege  for me to grow closer to Jesus and to serve Him however He wishes to use me, for His honor and glory.

Here is a link to GriefShare's 'A Season of Grief - Daily emails' 
These were very helpful to me that first year.

***********

I bought The Passion Translation (TPT) after hearing my pastor read from it. There is so much gentleness and love in it. It is just the New Testament, Psalms, Proverbs and Song of Solomon. The King James Version has always been my favorite, but I've expanded into other translations as well, ESV, NIV, ASV, The Message, and more.

When I first looked for this Bible, on Christianbook.com , I saw a beautiful floral cover that caught my eye, but then remembered these days large print is better for my eyes. I checked for large print and this is what they had, perfect for FlowerLady to read here in Plum Cottage.

It has great notes at the bottom of pages.

I want to end this first post of this new year with a new rendition of an old hymn.

Praying that all who visit here will be drawn closer to Jesus. He is God Almighty, Creator of all, and He loves us deeply. May you feel His loving comfort surrounding you.

FlowerLady

Good morning ~ Today is a new day, let us rejoice and be glad in it.


Last evening before bed, I was going through my Bible, reading verses that I had underlined and came across this one in Jeremiah 31:25 

For I have satiated the weary soul, 

and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.

I thought the word satiated meant to be full, and it does, but looking it up this morning I see that it also means satisfied.  Replenished means  -  to fill or build up again. 

This is what Jesus does for us, He satisfies us and He builds us up again. He heals our broken hearts. He gives us strength each and every day. 

In Lamentations 3:22-25 we read the following:

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord."

***

As we hope and quietly wait for Jesus to work in our lives, 

we will be fully satisfied and replenished. It may take time, but we know that God works it all out according to His plan, for what is best for us and for His honor and glory.

May you feel God's love, peace and joy surrounding and flowing through you.

Seek Him in all things.

FlowerLady

A New Year

Happy 2019 to all of you.  

Well, I made it through another holiday season and year. December was rough, but God was with me every step of the way and I am here to rejoice and be glad in each day that He blesses me with this coming year.

Near the end of last year, sometime in October, I found out about and decided to become a part of a Grief Share session. I highly recommend this program for anyone who has lost a loved one. I couldn’t have done this in the beginning, but the time was right for me to do so now. 

It was good for me to ‘share’ with others. A lot of people do not ‘get’ how people feel, what they are going through, if they have not lost a loved one themselves. As a widow who has gone through 6 years of this phase of my life’s journey I could share not only the sorrows but the joys. I could share how God has been my strength through each and every day. He has promised to never leave or forsake us.

With this new year, I am going to another session of Grief Share, not only for myself to glean more from, but I’d like to be a comfort to others. We aren’t in this alone.   As a fresh widow in 2013, (my dear husband went to be with Jesus 9 Dec. 2012), the following verses were brought to my attention. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

****************

I love these thoughts found in Lamentations 3:22-26 (NKJV)

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
 
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
 
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
 
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.

*************

Another verse just came to mind, Psalms 34:8

O taste and see that the Lord is good:

blessed is the man (or woman) that trusteth in him.

*****************

Dear broken hearted ones, be of good cheer. God is the Restorer of broken hearts. He is the Healer who brings us back to life. 

Our lives have changed greatly with the loss of our loved ones, but, we are still alive, and they would want us to not just survive, but to thrive. We thrive through the love and tender mercies of our Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Each day we are blessed with is a gift, a gift from our Heavenly Father. May we rejoice and be glad in each one. May we keep our focus on Him. He is our Peace, our Strength, our Joy.

May this new year be filled with growth as we trust in Jesus, the only one who can meet all of our needs. He has a plan for each of us, one that only we can fill, one that He made before we were even born.

God’s blessings on each of you ~ FlowerLady

The Lord is my Strength

 

Good morning ~ It’s been awhile since I’ve posted here. I post regularly in my other blog FlowerLady’s Musings.

I’ve been feeling the urge to get back into posting here so here I am.

It has been 4 years 3 months and 1 day since my dear husband went to be with Jesus. I have made forward progress in the grieving process, but like this morning, it can sneak up on me at any given time.

I wake up early every morning ever since my husband left this planet, usually around 4. This morning I woke up right around then, after having an emotional dream. I sat up on the edge of the bed, thanking Jesus for this new day, (talking to Him out loud), then thanked Him for the love my husband and I had shared as husband and wife for 43 years. I then said how I love my husband still & even more & that I miss him and then broke down sobbing. The tears subsided and I felt somewhat better after the release of tension and sadness and got up to get started with my day.

Each morning I have coffee with my devotional time. At that time of morning traffic is quiet and it is nice to read and pray before the hurry/scurry of the day gets started.

Lately I’ve been picking up my husband’s Bible and opening it up to see what verse or verses, of scripture he might have marked, and how would they speak to me. This mornings’ verse that spoke to my heart, was found in a section of marked verses, Nehemiah 8: 9-12. and in the margin he had written one word, EXCELLENT.  Verse 10b was the part that stood out to me, especially after my emotional start to this day.

“This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” NIV

Each day is a gift, from our heavenly Father.

The verse about God’s compassion on us came to mind so I looked it up and will share it here.

Lamentations 3:22-26

It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
 
They are new every morning:
great is thy faithfulness.
 
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul;
therefore will I hope in him.
 
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him,
to the soul that seeketh him.
 
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

The Lord is my strength when I am weak.

He has promised to never leave me.

He is working all things out for good and for His glory in my life.

Don’t give up. You are not alone. Call out to Jesus for help when you need it.

Thank Him daily for all that He does for you, large or small blessings.

For me a small blessing yesterday was, asking for His help in cutting over hanging limbs from our neighbor’s trees that hang over my driveway.  I got out my pole saw and began sawing, and also used my hand clippers to cut things up smaller. When I had done what needed to be done, I had a huge smile on my face and thankfulness in my heart.

The day before He gave me the idea to look in a certain area of ‘stuff’ to find a pipe I needed for a project. Again, a smile on my face and thankfulness overflowing.

Every day we have much to be thankful for if we will just open our eyes, ears and hearts.

Being a widow isn’t easy, but Jesus blesses us with what we need in each new day.

Trust Him.

FlowerLady

 

Be Not Anxious

This morning I randomly, on my part, opened my Bible to Isaiah 40:31.

But they that wait upon the LORD

shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings as eagles;

they shall run, and not be weary;

and they shall walk, and not faint.

Then in my email I received this devotional from ‘Streams in the Desert’.

***

Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. (Phil 4:6)

No anxiety ought to be found in a believer. Great, many and varied may be our trials, our afflictions, our difficulties, and yet there should be no anxiety under any circumstances, because we have a Father in Heaven who is almighty, who loves His children as He loves His only-begotten Son, and whose very joy and delight it is to succor and help them at all times and under all circumstances. We should attend to the Word, “In nothing be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

“In everything,” that is not merely when the house is on fire, not merely when the beloved wife and children are on the brink of the grave, but in the smallest matters of life, bring everything before God, the little things, the very little things, what the world calls trifling things--everything--living in holy communion with our Heavenly Father, arid with our precious Lord Jesus all day long. And when we awake at night, by a kind of spiritual instinct again turning to Him, and speaking to Him, bringing our various little matters before Him in the sleepless night, the difficulties in connection with the family, our trade, our profession. Whatever tries us in any way, speak to the Lord about it.

“By prayer and supplication,” taking the place of beggars, with earnestness, with perseverance, going on and waiting, waiting, waiting on God.

“With thanksgiving.” We should at all times lay a good foundation with thanksgiving. If everything else were wanting, this is always present, that He has saved us from hell. Then, that He has given us His Holy Word--His Son, His choicest gift--and the Holy Spirit. Therefore we have abundant reason for thanksgiving. O let us aim at this!

“And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” And this is so great a blessing, so real a blessing, so precious a blessing, that it must be known experimentally to be entered into, for it passeth understanding. O let us lay these things to heart, and the result will be, if we habitually walk in this spirit, we shall far more abundantly glorify God, than as yet we have done.
--George Mueller, in Life of Trust

Twice or thrice a day, look to see if your heart is not disquieted about something; and if you find that it is, take care forthwith to restore it to calm.
--Francis De Sales

***

What wonderfully inspiring and uplifting words to start my day, not just today but for any day, at any time of my life.

May you be inspired and uplifted as well.

Jesus is with us continually. He is our strength.

FlowerLady

One Step/Day at a Time

Here it is the 12th of October. It has been 3 years, 10 months and 3 days since my dear husband vacated the premises here on earth, to be with Jesus.

I am looking forward to our reunion whenever that will be, but until then I am living my life with Jesus, who is my strength when I am weak, He fills me with peace that only He can give, and He brings joy into my life.

I still have times of grief. they can sneak up on me for no apparent reason, then other times reading or seeing something triggers the tears and heartache.

Each day is a gift and I want to see God’s blessings in each one. I want to learn lessons, and always trust in Him.

I just went through my first ‘getting ready’ for a hurricane without him. I was very nervous that’s for sure. Even after posting ‘fear not’ Bible verses in my main blog FlowerLady’s Musings, I ended up having a ‘panic attack’ when looking at the latest update Thursday morning about the storm being a cat 5 and headed toward me. I had prayed that it would move a little eastward, and when I called my brother-in-law, he told me he had just watched the local update and the storm had indeed shifted a little to the east, which meant it wouldn’t be hitting here head on. Now, to me that was really an answer to prayer.

Four young men from the church came on Tuesday afternoon and boarded up my little cottage and the waiting began. The waiting is hard. All day Thursday was calmer than they had predicted, little wind or rain. Then Thursday evening both wind and rain started in squalls, then the wind started picking up and being more constant. It sounded awful from inside, but not as bad as it had been with hurricanes Frances, Jeanne and Wilma, 2004-2005. I had a restless night, little sleep. My feline girl, Miss Tork, kept me company laying across my chest/stomach.

The winds started fading away around 3 in the morning, which was such a relief.

Even though I had had that panic attack, I still knew Jesus was with me, as He is every day, all day, my fears just got the better of me for a bit.

We learn to trust Jesus more when we go through hard/scary times. Our faith is strengthened. I was able to prepare my little place as best I could, being by myself, and with the help of 4 dudes.

I dreamed about my husband in a little snatch of sleep that scary night, before I woke up for the day. He was telling me that the ‘stuff was just stuff, but we have Jesus.’ He said that twice and then kissed me two times on the lips like an exclamation point and was gone. That was a real  gift and blessing to me.

When I went outside, I did not know what I’d find after hearing, bangs, slams and thuds during the night. The biggest thing was the top half of a dead pine tree was on the ground at the back of the driveway, which was the big ‘thud’ I’d heard and felt. I am so thankful for no real damages, for the winds not being ‘fierce’ like predicted. We did not lose electricity either.

I am sorry for all who suffered flooding, losing homes & businesses, and for those who lost loved ones also. We don’t know the ‘whys’ of why things happen in our lives, What we do know is that Jesus is with us through good and bad. He does and will work all things out for good.

Today is a new day. I’ve laundry to wash and hang out, I want to restring my weed whacker, and I want to enjoy the beauty and God’s blessings in this day.

May you all be drawn closer to God. May He fill you with His peace, strength, joy and healing.

FlowerLady

This is one of my simple beauties in my gardens.

It is the ‘Barnhouse’ rose.

Fall is in the air

Here it is another September, today happens to be the first day of fall. Hurray! September 8th was our 46th anniversary. It is hard to believe my dear husband and best friend has been gone 33 1/2 months.

Oh how I miss my love every single day. As a fresh widow grief was so ‘raw’, then there’s the ‘widow’s fog’ that lasted for over 2 years for me, then reality really settles in. That’s where I am now.

It’s not easy to get used to. I rely on Jesus daily for His strength to get me through each day. To give me peace, to give me joy in my sorrow.

Knowing my husband is with Jesus is wonderful. He is with Almighty God, that is awesome. I can only imagine how fantastic that must be.

Meanwhile, every day for me is a day of taking one step at a time. Some days are better than others.

Now that cooler weather is coming, I’m thinking of projects I want to do outside and inside. I’ve got some you-tube videos to watch for painting my little cottage.  A project that will be done one wall or one section at a time. Prep work will be the worst part.

The journey of widowhood is all about faith.  Faith in Jesus for taking care of me. He knows all of my needs better than I do.

We have a crowd of witnesses in heaven who lived by faith and they are cheering us on. We can do it, just as they did, by faith. God is our strength and they know that. We just need to keep our focus on Jesus and not on things of this world. We need to do our best and not sweat the small stuff.

We are to give our worries and fears to Jesus, something we can give Him each day, as many times as we need to. He is longing to take our burdens, He wants us to have His peace. He longs to bless us and does.

He blesses us with beauty, music, scents, laughter, friends, family, colors, good food, changing seasons, His glorious creation, so much to enjoy.

Let us rejoice in the gift of each new day and be glad in it. One day we will be with our loved ones again, and we will all praise Jesus for all that He has done, is doing, and what He will do for each and every one of us.

Be of good courage, all who hope in the Lord.

FlowerLady

My Home is God Himself

 

 

“My Home is God Himself”; Christ brought me there.
I laid me down within His mighty arms;
He took me up, and safe from all alarms
He bore me “where no foot but His hath trod,”
Within the holiest at Home with God,
And bade me dwell in Him, rejoicing there.
O Holy Place! O Home divinely fair!
And we, God’s little ones, abiding there.

“My Home is God,” and sheltered there,
God meets the trials of my earthly life,
God compasses me round from storm and strife,
God takes the burden of my daily care.
O Wondrous Place! O Home divinely fair!
And I, God’s little one, safe hidden there.
Lord, as I dwell in Thee and Thou in me,
So make me dead to everything but Thee;
That as I rest within my Home most fair,
My soul may evermore and only see
My God in everything and everywhere;
My Home is God.

Author Unknown

Twenty Months & eight days

 

Hello there ~ It’s been awhile since I last wrote in this blog. Life is zipping right along. Most days are somewhat normal, then you get hit with a whammy of grief! It just comes out of the blue and there is nothing you can do but go with it.

It hit me a little while ago and I went into the bedroom, grabbed a pillow off the bed, threw it on the floor and knelt beside the bed where my dear husband had laid his last few weeks before going to heaven and sobbed to Jesus.  All I could do was cry out Jesus’ name a couple of times, I couldn’t even pray. As I calmed, I thought of how sometimes we don’t know what to say but the Holy Spirit knows and does it for us.

I looked up the scripture so that I could post it here. I did not know that it was in Romans 8. When we got married and the pictures were being taken, one photo was of our hands  placed on the open Bible. I opened the Bible to Romans 8:28, as it is a special verse to me.

So, here is my scripture lesson for this day. May it speak to your hearts as it has mine.

***

For by hope were we saved: but hope that is seen is not hope: for who hopeth for that which he seeth?

But if we hope for that which we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

And in like manner the Spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered;

and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose.

Rom 8:24-28

***

I am so thankful for our 43 years together.

Thankful that our love continued to grow right through to the end, and my love still grows even today.

Even in my loss of the love of my life, Jesus is working all things out for good and His honor & glory.

FlowerLady

Trust in the Lord

Here it is five months since I’ve written anything in this blog. Shame on me. I post regularly in my main blog FlowerLady’s Musings. It’s where I’ve been blogging about our life since Sept. 2008 when I started the blog. Those who follow and visit have been following right along in my new journey. Some leave comments, some email me and their love and encouragement has been a real blessing to me these past 17 months.

I miss my dear husband every day. The tears are less, but they do still have ways of sneaking up on me and I just have to got with the flow and let them fall wherever I may be.

Jesus is still the source of my strength each and every day. I wouldn’t be as far along in this journey as I am, without Him.

My life goes on. I am getting into living this life alone, new routines, enjoying and being thankful for my many blessings. I work part-time, putter in my gardens, enjoy needleworking again, (although I sure miss showing my dear husband my latest creations and hearing his loving encouragement and feedback).

I am on the staff of the Christian widow’s group I found soon after losing my husband. I’m the photographer at our meeting/luncheons, and I take care of the blog. Friends Needing Friends. This group has been a real blessing in my life.

God speaks to me through His Word, the Bible, through many devotionals, books, blogs and through friends and family. He led me to a church where I’ve been blessed many times by the music and the messages. I also go to a small lady’s Bible study group that is helping me on this journey of widowhood too.

Below is a devotional piece which I got in my email, written by J.R. Miller, "Evening Thoughts" 1907.

******

“This is our Father's world! God has all power and could save us from any sorrow or suffering if He wished. He is all-loving, and when He permits any trial to touch us, it is because it will be a blessing to us. He is all-wise, and knows what is best for us.

We do not know what is best for us. We would make pitiful work of our life if, for even a single day, our affairs and experiences were left in our own hands! But in God's hands, no mistake will ever be made. Whatever may come, therefore, we may say always, "It is well!"

"He has done all things well!" Mark 7:37

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose!" Romans 8:28 “

********

Dear Jesus ~ draw us ever closer to you. May we feel your love, peace, strength and joy flowing through and surrounding us at all times. May we believe in all that happens in our lives, “It is well!”

Thank you

FlowerLady Lorraine

 

With God’s strength ~ I Made it

Good morning ~ It is a new day and I wish to rejoice and be glad in it. It is my choice, no matter what the circumstances. I’m not saying that this choice is easy, some days it is NOT.

9 December 2013 was the first year anniversary of my dear husband and best friends' going home to be with Jesus, our God and Creator. Actually, I was surprised at how peaceful I felt and even joyful, because I ‘know’ where he is.  He is at peace, he is well, he is with God and all the believers who are there, waiting in earnest expectation for God’s next big move. I am waiting too with many, many others down here on earth.

20 December would have been my husband’s 66th birthday, then there was Christmas and New Years,  All I can say is that Jesus IS my strength each and every single day. Yes, I still have times of tears, I miss my husband a LOT.  We did just about everything together.  We were in the middle of projects, most of which are still  waiting for me to decide what to do next.

I work part time, putter in my gardens, work on projects as I can, continue to craft with needle, thread and beads, go to church and my widow’s group meetings. My days seem full, but nights not so full.  I do not watch TV.  The only show we were watching was Survivor, and I haven’t even watched that since seeing the grand finale from spring of last year. I’m living my own ‘survivor’ life, for real.

I have watched movies on you tube, I watch garden shows, and some other things about crafting, watching couples buy their first homes, etc.

I am thankful for my little home and gardens. Thankful that I can still learn to do new things. We are never too old to learn.

Contemporary Christian music really speaks to me, heart and soul.

Reading is one of my big things to do too.

These ‘things’ cannot fill the void left by my dear husbands’ absence, only God can do that, and I talk to Him a lot, in my journal, out loud too, any time day or night. He is right beside me always.

As we go about our lives in this new year of 2014, let us remember the following verse found in Joshua. 1:9 (KJV)

******

Be strong and of a good courage;

be not afraid,

neither be thou dismayed:

for the LORD thy God is with thee

whithersoever thou goest.

******

Love, hugs and prayers

and God’s continued blessings

on each and every one of you.

FlowerLady Lorraine

1st Anniversary

 

Hello Friends,

One year ago today, at 10:12 a.m., my dear husband and best friend Mark when home to be with Jesus.

This time last year I was very despondent as you can well imagine, but I was not without hope and my strength to get through each day was and still is the strength of Jesus.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Grief was so overwhelming those first few months, and even a month or two ago I had the worst bout of grieving ever.  Sobbing so much I hurt physically. I just cried out to God to heal my broken heart and to get me through the pain. He has, He did and He is.

Grief still has a way of sneaking up on me, when I least expect it. The tears can be triggered by anything, and I just let them flow.  They are healing, they are precious to God. Remember, everyone of us grieves differently, don’t let anyone tell you how to do it.

I shed some tears yesterday as I decorated the trees as I miss Mark very much. His birthday is the 20th so we had much to celebrate this time of year.

I feel his love all around me.  I see it in so many things he did here in our little haven . My love for him continues to grow and I am thankful for the love we shared those 43 years of marriage. We grew up together and grew through lessons learned in our life and I am still learning and growing.

Through all the pain of this great loss, God has shown me so much love, He has drawn me closer to Him and He has given me a greater love and compassion for others.

I was led to a wonderful Christian group of widowed ladies and a church I enjoy very much. I was asked to be part of the staff of this group of widows, as photographer after I created a blog for them, Friends Needing Friends. This group was started by a lovely and fun lady, Dotti Ackerman.  She first started a group in NJ about 25 years ago, then came to FL and started our group a couple of years ago. She is much loved by both groups.

Meeting these ladies and becoming a part of their lives has been a blessing to me.

I am thankful for the widow friends I have made online. For the blogs of widows, and for my followers who have helped me so much during this past year. You all are a blessing in my life. I am thankful for family who have also blessed me with their love and support, and physical labor too.

Love and encouragement are so needed by widows. To be listened to, to be able to talk about their loved ones helps tremendously with their grieving.  Hugs are much appreciated too.

Nothing and no one can ever take the place of our dear husbands, they were the other half of ourselves.  We learn to live a new life, one of trust in God more than ever before.

I have read a LOT during this past year and have been blessed and encouraged and uplifted so much. The Bible has been the greatest source of comfort as well as books for widows and writings online and blogs.

I just read something in a book this past week or so and it is this ~ "We reproach ourselves when those we love are taken.  But, if we meditate, we can see how they can inspire our lives, make our years more significant by their lessons."

One of the last things dear Mark said to me was "Be kind." Not that long ago I came across a piece on you tube that really touched my heart along these same lines.

A young photographer went around NYC photographing thousands of real people and asked them what piece of advice they would have for a large audience.  One lady he came up to in pouring down rain was a widow in her 80’s, standing under a colorful umbrella. Her piece of advice was this. “I’ll tell you what my dying husband told me when I asked him what will I do without you in my life.  He told her, “Take that love you would have given me and spread it around.”

That still gets to me as I write and read the words again.  I loved my husband deeply, he was my life, and seeing this story was a gift from him and from God for me to carry on and ‘spread the love’.

I feel joy and peace on this first anniversary of Mark’s  leaving this planet. I know where he is and one day we will be reunited and live with Jesus forever. It will all be more wonderful than we can even imagine.

For all of those just coming into this new life of being a widow or widower, know that it will get easier.  You don't think so right now, and I didn't think so either, but God has been my strength, He has blessed me in many ways. I am trusting Him as my husband now to work all things out. I look to Him for guidance, help, love and healing. You can too. His love, grace, peace and healing are yours for the asking. Trust Him, He will never leave or forsake you.

Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

~ Remember Philippians 4:13 ~

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you,

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

******

The photo above was taken by friends of mine and Mark’s who I had told about his telling me ‘be kind’. They were up north and the husband saw the sign and told the wife to stop, back up.  You should take a picture of this sign for Rainey.  When she went to take the picture and saw the name of the church she said something like,  ‘you’re not going to believe this’.  The name of the church.

A coincidence , I hardly think so.

God works in mysterious ways,

His wonders to perform.

This was yet another gift of love from God to me,

and from Mark to me.

Still moving forward

 

Each new day is a gift! We can either wallow in self-pity, or be thankful to God for his many blessings in our life. It’s been eight months now since my dear husband went to be with his Maker and while I still miss him every single day, I am not as distraught as I was at first.

Jesus has been my strength, seeing me through every step of my journey. He is filling my life with his love, peace and strength. I still have times of tears, but I also have times of thankfulness and joy for the 43 years of marriage we had.

I am going through things, doing some rearranging and making forward progress in this new life I’m living. I ask Jesus for help and he gives it. I am excited about an indoor project I am working on and while doing this have found some real treasures in artwork done by my husband. I’ve come across other things too and my love for him continues to grow even though he’s no longer here. God blessed me by answering my prayer as a young girl when I prayed for Him to send me someone who loved me and someone for me to love as well.

On the 8th of next month is the anniversary of our marriage, it would have been our 44th.  I still plan to fix a nice dinner, as I always did, to celebrate the love and our life that God blessed us with.  I am thankful.

I am also thankful for this time in my life of drawing closer to Jesus. He brought me to where I am, he knows all that I am going through and he knows what he as in store for me.

MKJV ~ Jer 29:11 ~ For I know the purposes which I am purposing for you, says Jehovah; purposes of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

I want to rest daily in God’s tender loving care, to grow in his grace.

May you do the same.

FlowerLady Lorraine

Moving along, one step at a time

 

I can’t believe it’s been a month since I posted in this blog.  I post regularly in my main blog FlowerLady’s Musings, as I have followers there who have become friends and like family to me since I started blogging in 2008. They have been following our projects, etc. and have been a tremendous source of support, love, encouragement since losing my dear husband. They want to hear about how I am doing day to day.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss my husband, and the tears flow whenever they feel like it.   But, I am settling into my new groove, continuing to trust God to work all things out. It’s a moment to moment trusting God, one step at a time.

Being a part of the widow’s group, FNF ~ Friends Needing Friends ~ has really been a blessing to me. God led me to them for His purpose, His honor and glory. My prayer is to be able to help other widows in this journey that we are on.

Every day is a new day, in this adventure, where we can trust in God or wallow in our despair. He is not done with us yet, we have much to live for, and much living to do. He works through our grief to bring others to Him. He will give us joy once again, I see glimpses of it, and knowing my husband is with Him, fills my heart with joy.

Let us all remember to:

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;

and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5

***

FlowerLady

Serenity

What is serenity? I did a Google search and here is what I came up with.

Definition: The state or quality of being serene

the absence of mental stress or anxiety

Thesaurus:
peace of mind, peacefulness, repose, peace, heartsease
quietude, quietness, tranquility - a state of peace and quiet

Most of us have heard of the Serenity Prayer. We are very familiar with the first part. I cross-stitched it for my late MIL when I was a newlywed living in Spain. My husband framed it in the base hobby shop, and we mailed it to her and it hung in her kitchen until the estate was settled after my late FIL passed away.  It is now hanging in my kitchen.

I looked at it this morning as I was pouring my coffee, and sighed. “Serenity”, That is definitely something I need in my life. I have moments of it throughout my days, but I wish to have it continually.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Reinhold Niebuhr

***

I can only have this serenity

by trusting in God all day long

in everything that comes my way.

***

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart,
and lean not upon thine own understanding:
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths.
Pro 3:5-6

***

Take my yoke upon you,
and learn of me;
for I am meek and lowly in heart:
and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  
For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light.

Mat 11:29-30

I am into my 6th month in this journey of widowhood. I am learning as I go along.  Every day is a gift. I am ‘puttering’ in my home and gardens, in my husbands workshop, getting into different routines, living without my ‘love’ of 43 years.  I am being drawn closer to God, and that is priceless. He is with me every step of the way. He blesses me and teaches me.  He loves me. My husband is in His presence, rejoicing in God’s greatness. He knows that all is working out, while in my earthly existence I am still trusting and hoping. 

And we know that to them that love God
all things work together for good,
even to them that are called
according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

***

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
saith the LORD,
thoughts of peace,
and not of evil,
to give you hope in your latter end.
Jer 29:11

***

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning;
for in thee do I trust:
cause me to know the way wherein I should walk;
for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Psa 143:8

 

In your name dear Jesus I pray,

FlowerLady

Stand by me

 

Sunday morning the sermon at church was on fear.  It is a choice. Fear is in our imagination. Yes, there are things out there that can harm us, but most of what we fear never happens.

Do we choose to live in fear, or live by faith and trust in God to continually take care of us in all situations?

As God’s dear little ones, we need to focus on Him. He is God Almighty. We are very precious to Him, so much so that He knows how many hairs each of us has on our heads.

He also thinks of us.

Yesterday morning the song Stand by Me was running through my head, a favorite of mine and my husband.  It has to do with being a couple, but to me now it has to do with my trusting in God.

Here is a portion of the song that touches me.

When the night has come and the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we'll see

No, I won't be afraid,

oh, I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

(I changed the words to this next part to say this)

So Jesus, Jesus,
stand by me,
oh, stand by me
Oh, stand, stand by me,
stand by me

 

 

Let us not be afraid, but keep our hearts and minds on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith

***

Be strong and of a good courage,
fear not,
nor be afraid of them:
for the LORD thy God,
he it is that doth go with thee;
he will not fail thee,
nor forsake thee.

And the LORD,
he it is that doth go before thee;
he will be with thee,
he will not fail thee,
neither forsake thee:
fear not,
neither be dismayed.
Deu_31:6 & 8

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power,
and of love,
and of a sound mind. 
2Ti_1:7

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Pro_3:5

***

Dear Jesus ~ Thank you for loving us, for caring for us with your tender mercies. May we not be afraid but trust in you always.

Love one of your little ones ~ FlowerLady Lorraine

Six months

It will be six months tomorrow since my dear husband went to be with God his Creator and the Lover of his soul. How wonderful it must be to be ‘with’ God with no more cares about this world, no more pain, no more sorrow, no sin.

One day I will also be ‘with’ God in the same way, with no more pain, no more sorrow , no more sin.  Right now, God is with me as I walk this life’s road, missing my best friend, my mentor, my love. God comforts me through prayer, His word, through music, through people. He is with me every step of the way.  He has promised to never leave or forsake me.

In spite of the sadness of missing my husband, there is joy to be found in every day too. Seeing butterflies as they flit and drift about, landing on flowers for nectar. The sweet songs of birds that fill the air. The scents of freshly mown grass, of flowers, of delicious foods. Blue skies, rain to water gardens.  There are new friends, and old relationships being renewed.

I have much to be thankful for on this continuing journey.  The journey isn’t the same as it was in the past 43 years, it’s different. God is leading me, showing me new ways to trust in Him.

My prayer for each and every day is:

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning;
for in thee do I trust:
cause me to know the way wherein I should walk;
for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Psa 143:8

May you feel God’s love presence flowing through and surrounding you as you walk your own journey.

FlowerLady Lorraine

 

A song, more tears, projects

 

A song has run through my mind for many, many years.  I first heard and sang it as a 10th grader in high school. I boarded at Toccoa Falls Academy in Georgia that year, a Christian Missionary Alliance school and college.  I lived in an old 2 story house with other high school girls. We had house parents and we had a college-age monitor or two.  Each evening before bed we all would gather together, in the main room, and lined up on the stair case in our night clothes, for devotions and songs. 

This song has blessed me so much through the years, but most especially while my dear husband was so ill and since he has gone to be with Jesus.  I got up the nerve to sing it to my husband while he was laying in bed near the end.  He didn’t know the words and he sang along outloud with his own words thanking Jesus for me.  That gets to me every time I think about it.

The song is “Thank you Jesus for all You’ve done” by Ruth G. Hallett. I have tried to find this sung or played by anyone on you tube, but so far haven’t done so.  The melody is sweet. It is a regular song on my heart as I go about my daily business of caring for home, gardens and myself.

Here are the lyrics:

Thank You, Jesus, for all You've done.
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You, Jesus, for vict'ries won,
O thank You, Lord.

For Thy love and tender care,
For Thy Word and answered prayer.
Thank You, Jesus, for all You've done.
Thank You, Lord.

Thank You, Jesus, for love like Thine.
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You, Jesus, for grace divine.
O thank You, Lord.

For Thy cross of Calvary,
For Thy blood that cleanseth me,
Thank You, Jesus, that Thou art mine.
Thank You, Lord.

******

Sunday will make 6 months since my soul mate and best friend, the love of my life, went to be with his Maker. Today I was standing at the window in the bank and the tears just started flowing and I couldn’t stop them.  The lady asked if I was ok, and I told her I had lost my husband in December and that sometimes the grief just sneaks up on me.  She was sorry for my loss, we finished our business and I went on my way.

I didn’t even feel like finishing my errands as it looked like it was going to rain, and after that episode at the bank, I lost all momentum to continue on, so came back home. I’ve cried a couple more times as it just seems to be one of those kinds of days.  Of course, the rainy weather isn’t helping any. We’ve had rain off and on for two weeks and rain is expected every day this week too.  I’m not complaining as we’ve needed the rain after being in drought conditions for several years now.  The grayness just doesn’t help with my sadness, if you know what I mean.

The projects that have come my way are through the wonderful widow’s group I found online, Friends Needing Friends.  Dotti, the founder, called me the other morning to see how I was doing and we chit-chatted awhile, then she asked me if I’d be interested in doing interviews of the ladies in our ‘sisterhood’, for a page of the newsletter that goes out once a month.  That way, we’d all get to know something about each other and it would be beneficial to each of us.  I was thrilled for this opportunity and hope I can do it well, and to the honor and glory of God, and for uplifting each of the ladies as we walk through this journey.

So, I came up with a template for a 3-column page, sent it to Dotti and we’re good to go, I will start interviewing ladies at the next meeting. Another lady will take pictures, so that we will have a face to go with the interview.  This is a wonderful way for us all to get to know each other better.

On Saturday I decided to start a blog for FNF and got it up and played around with it, and emailed Dotti about what I had done and sent her the link.  Sunday morning I was in the vestibule at church (I’ve only been there twice now) she came up to me and is thrilled about the blog.  She said she has been praying about one.  I think that is amazing and look forward to working with her on this blog.  I will keep you all posted and ask that you pray for me, for Dotti and for this group of lovely ladies.

At church Sunday morning, I sat on a back row on the right end, a favorite spot at gatherings for DH and myself through the years.  Dotti came over to me and asked if I would like to sit with she and some other ladies of our group so I said yes and joined them.  It felt good, the service, music and message, were uplifting. I look forward to going again.

God led me to this group and I am so thankful for it. For three ‘old’ friends found here and new friends being made. 

Romans 8:28 ~ A favorite verse since my youth, says this:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Tears come and flow and Jesus is saving them all. One day He will wipe all of our tears away from our faces, replacing them with joy unspeakable and full of glory, in our hearts and souls.

I wish to walk gracefully and tenderly with much love, thankfulness and anticipation as to what God has in store for me until I am reunited with my dear husband once again. Each day is a gift, many lessons to be learned, much to be thankful for.

May you all be drawn closer to Jesus as you continue in this life.

Love, hugs and prayers ~ FlowerLady Lorraine