It is amazing to me, this grieving. One minute you can feel so positive, feel ready to do something then after you do it with joy and thanksgiving you come crashing down into a bit of depression.
The tears are like a never ending fountain that turns on whenever it feels like it. They can sometimes be gentle and at other times you sob your heart out all over again. The good thing though is this, Jesus bottles up all of our tears, and they are in his safe keeping. And once you’ve cried out for the moment, you feel more normal again, at least I do.
There are so many dreams, memories, laughs, conversations, etc. surrounding me from our 43 years of marriage. I am glad I have them, but to not be making more of them with my dear husband really gets to me at times and seems so overwhelming. It will be three months since he went home to be with Jesus. That seems short sometimes and like an eternity at other times.
Everyday has it’s anxieties, it’s happy moments. Times of faith and times of doubt. Going to God in prayer and reading his word will lift us up continually. He is the author and finisher of our faith.
I will close today’s post with the following scripture. May we let God speak to us through them and calm our anxious hearts.
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. ~ Mat 6:6
I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.
Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.
The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.
Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.
The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
Return unto thy rest, O my soul;
for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.
Therefore I say unto you,
Take no thought for your life,
what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink;
nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.
Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Mat 6:25
Take therefore no thought for the morrow:
for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Mat 6:34
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Php_4:6
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2Ti 1:7
I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 2Ti 1:12