Twenty Months & eight days

 

Hello there ~ It’s been awhile since I last wrote in this blog. Life is zipping right along. Most days are somewhat normal, then you get hit with a whammy of grief! It just comes out of the blue and there is nothing you can do but go with it.

It hit me a little while ago and I went into the bedroom, grabbed a pillow off the bed, threw it on the floor and knelt beside the bed where my dear husband had laid his last few weeks before going to heaven and sobbed to Jesus.  All I could do was cry out Jesus’ name a couple of times, I couldn’t even pray. As I calmed, I thought of how sometimes we don’t know what to say but the Holy Spirit knows and does it for us.

I looked up the scripture so that I could post it here. I did not know that it was in Romans 8. When we got married and the pictures were being taken, one photo was of our hands  placed on the open Bible. I opened the Bible to Romans 8:28, as it is a special verse to me.

So, here is my scripture lesson for this day. May it speak to your hearts as it has mine.

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For by hope were we saved: but hope that is seen is not hope: for who hopeth for that which he seeth?

But if we hope for that which we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

And in like manner the Spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered;

and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose.

Rom 8:24-28

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I am so thankful for our 43 years together.

Thankful that our love continued to grow right through to the end, and my love still grows even today.

Even in my loss of the love of my life, Jesus is working all things out for good and His honor & glory.

FlowerLady

Trust in the Lord

Here it is five months since I’ve written anything in this blog. Shame on me. I post regularly in my main blog FlowerLady’s Musings. It’s where I’ve been blogging about our life since Sept. 2008 when I started the blog. Those who follow and visit have been following right along in my new journey. Some leave comments, some email me and their love and encouragement has been a real blessing to me these past 17 months.

I miss my dear husband every day. The tears are less, but they do still have ways of sneaking up on me and I just have to got with the flow and let them fall wherever I may be.

Jesus is still the source of my strength each and every day. I wouldn’t be as far along in this journey as I am, without Him.

My life goes on. I am getting into living this life alone, new routines, enjoying and being thankful for my many blessings. I work part-time, putter in my gardens, enjoy needleworking again, (although I sure miss showing my dear husband my latest creations and hearing his loving encouragement and feedback).

I am on the staff of the Christian widow’s group I found soon after losing my husband. I’m the photographer at our meeting/luncheons, and I take care of the blog. Friends Needing Friends. This group has been a real blessing in my life.

God speaks to me through His Word, the Bible, through many devotionals, books, blogs and through friends and family. He led me to a church where I’ve been blessed many times by the music and the messages. I also go to a small lady’s Bible study group that is helping me on this journey of widowhood too.

Below is a devotional piece which I got in my email, written by J.R. Miller, "Evening Thoughts" 1907.

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“This is our Father's world! God has all power and could save us from any sorrow or suffering if He wished. He is all-loving, and when He permits any trial to touch us, it is because it will be a blessing to us. He is all-wise, and knows what is best for us.

We do not know what is best for us. We would make pitiful work of our life if, for even a single day, our affairs and experiences were left in our own hands! But in God's hands, no mistake will ever be made. Whatever may come, therefore, we may say always, "It is well!"

"He has done all things well!" Mark 7:37

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose!" Romans 8:28 “

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Dear Jesus ~ draw us ever closer to you. May we feel your love, peace, strength and joy flowing through and surrounding us at all times. May we believe in all that happens in our lives, “It is well!”

Thank you

FlowerLady Lorraine

 

With God’s strength ~ I Made it

Good morning ~ It is a new day and I wish to rejoice and be glad in it. It is my choice, no matter what the circumstances. I’m not saying that this choice is easy, some days it is NOT.

9 December 2013 was the first year anniversary of my dear husband and best friends' going home to be with Jesus, our God and Creator. Actually, I was surprised at how peaceful I felt and even joyful, because I ‘know’ where he is.  He is at peace, he is well, he is with God and all the believers who are there, waiting in earnest expectation for God’s next big move. I am waiting too with many, many others down here on earth.

20 December would have been my husband’s 66th birthday, then there was Christmas and New Years,  All I can say is that Jesus IS my strength each and every single day. Yes, I still have times of tears, I miss my husband a LOT.  We did just about everything together.  We were in the middle of projects, most of which are still  waiting for me to decide what to do next.

I work part time, putter in my gardens, work on projects as I can, continue to craft with needle, thread and beads, go to church and my widow’s group meetings. My days seem full, but nights not so full.  I do not watch TV.  The only show we were watching was Survivor, and I haven’t even watched that since seeing the grand finale from spring of last year. I’m living my own ‘survivor’ life, for real.

I have watched movies on you tube, I watch garden shows, and some other things about crafting, watching couples buy their first homes, etc.

I am thankful for my little home and gardens. Thankful that I can still learn to do new things. We are never too old to learn.

Contemporary Christian music really speaks to me, heart and soul.

Reading is one of my big things to do too.

These ‘things’ cannot fill the void left by my dear husbands’ absence, only God can do that, and I talk to Him a lot, in my journal, out loud too, any time day or night. He is right beside me always.

As we go about our lives in this new year of 2014, let us remember the following verse found in Joshua. 1:9 (KJV)

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Be strong and of a good courage;

be not afraid,

neither be thou dismayed:

for the LORD thy God is with thee

whithersoever thou goest.

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Love, hugs and prayers

and God’s continued blessings

on each and every one of you.

FlowerLady Lorraine