Here it is Wednesday afternoon. My Christmas was quiet, we always liked our quiet Christmases, but this one was a little too quiet without my dear Mark with me. I felt joyful at times, inspired and encouraged too, and then tears would fall, sobs would burst out. Crying is really good as it releases so much tension, but my stomach muscles sometimes ache from clenching because of crying so much, but I will survive this with God by my side. I read the Bible and am calmed by what I read. My hope is Jesus and He will work all things out.
I was reminded again today of one of my favorite verses:
Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Here is an excerpt on this verse from the book ‘Captured by Grace’ by Dr. David Jeremiah :
“The death of a loved one is never a good thing, and the Spirit of God weeps beside us. The terrible day you had yesterday is simply a terrible day. It felt bad: it was bad. The Romans 8:28 difference is that these are bad things that God uses. They are pieces of a great jigsaw puzzle that are ugly when considered on their own; but in the final picture, they will play a part that brings glory to God and works for the good of the believer.
Bad things, then, remain bad. But God remains good, and He is the Lord of those bad things. He is fully capable of using them in ways that will shine with a beauty we will see one day, either in this life or the next.”
***
I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me, but like the old song says, I do know who holds tomorrow. I got the first bill from the hospital on Christmas Eve, a whopper. Today the day after Christmas I got another one from a physician. I don’t know how many there will be but I am trusting God to meet my needs.
Here is another excerpt from this book:
“ Though your eyes are presently filled with tears, My child, and though your shoulders sag with unhappiness, I want you to know something. I want you to be assured that our adventure together is only beginning. Trials remain for you to face, but behind each one rests a greater glory. Beyond each obstacle there lies a greater joy. And all along the way, I have paved your road with blessings to remind you of the inheritance that is yours as My child. Walk on, now, in the joy that will not be slowed even by sadness. Walk on toward the crown of glory that has your name on it.
Walk on, My child. And let us walk together.”
So, with those comforting words ringing in my heart and soul, I will get up and go wash dishes, looking out of the scullery window enjoying the beauty I see in the secret garden.
Thank you all again for your love, support and prayers.
FlowerLady Lorraine
Good evening, Lorraine. My background is in accounting so I’ll respond to that portion of your previous journal entry. Contact the business managers of each account you receive a bill for. Offer to pay the minimal monthly amount you are confortable with. Most likely they will will accept it. It’s all just paperwork and they want it off their desk. Leave some dollar space in your first offer in case they want to negotiate. The important thing is you contact them. That simple action will earn you miles in goodwill. Secondly, my friends husband died long before she was eligible for social security retirement. It’s a well guarded secret but she start collecting widow’s benefits simply by asking. Social security will not volunteer the program but must comply if the question of eligibility is asked. As always, Godspeed.
ReplyDeleteJust popping by to give you a hug. xxx Cathy
ReplyDeleteYou can also call the doctor's office directly, and even ask to speak to the physician themself about their bill. They are all over-blown, inflated amounts for everything. It will work out. I can remember the terrible stomach pain/chest pain from crying. Be careful with yourself now, I think your'e doing too much physically. Baby steps, just baby steps in all areas right now.Hugs and love, Gina
ReplyDeleteLorraine; Those are words to lean on--both the familiar scriptures and the essays from your little book.
ReplyDeleteI think of that old hymn "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms'--'leaning' sounds passive, doesnt it [?] but to Lean on Jesus, to grasp faith in the midst of sorrow seems to me a bold and courageous action.
♥
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