"Falling in love is the easy part.
It is quite different from being in love.
If you are blessed,
you fall in love with your spouse again a little bit every day.
Love is a choice,
a decision to love no matter what the day brings.
You are in love because you choose to be in love.
You made a promise, a commitment, to love each other."
Author Unknown


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

In the wee hours of the morning

It is 2:16 a.m. I've been awake since a little after 1, laid there with Miss Tork on my chest until I had to get up. Laying in the dark can be scary. Well not totally in the dark as light comes in the front window through a bit of stained glass, plus I have the electric rose bush turned on and that sheds a nice reddish glow into the space. 

It is always in the wee hours of the morning that things can assail you. They come crashing on you with a heaviness that can't be denied. Your mind and heart race. I wanted to get up to come out here and read the piece I found about trusting in God. It makes me want to weep from something so profound that I don't even know how to describe it. This is a new place for me.

So many comments have been left in my other blog and in this one too about how strong I am, but I am not. I am weak, afraid, and feeling desolate. Any strength that I have is from God, the author and finisher of my faith.

Again, here are some bits from this piece by Octavius Winslow:

your concerns are to be entrusted to God

Your care will be his cares; 

your concerns will be his concern

your need the occasion of his supply; 

and your fears, perils, and dejection, the period of his soothing, protection, and love.

And just at this period of your life, when every object and every scene appears to your view trembling with uncertainty and enshrouded with gloom, God—the widow’s God—speaks in language well calculated to awaken in your soul a song in the night,—“LET THY WIDOWS TRUST IN ME.” O! have faith, then, in this word of the living God, and all will be well with you. It will be well with your person, it will be well with your estate.

God will lighten your cares and cheer the desolateness of your widowhood. Only trust in God.

The sweetest joy may yet spring from your bitter, lonely sorrow; and the richest music may yet awake from your unstrung and silent harp. If a human power and sympathy could “make the widow’s heart to sing for joy,” O! what joy cannot God’s power and love create in that desolate, bleeding, widowed heart of thine. Place it, then, all stricken and lonely as it is, in God’s hands; and, breathing over it his loving Spirit, he will turn its tears, its sighs, its moanings, into the sweetest midnight harmony. 

***

Today is a new day. Let me rejoice and be glad in it. Let me place everything into the hands of the living God.

FlowerLady Lorraine

7 comments:

  1. There is a time to grieve, and this is it. Being too busy( as in physical too busy), as that is what I was doing at first, as there was so much to get done with the funeral and handling her remaining items and 'stuff'. But too busy can wear you down physically, and mentally.Your mind is still trying to process what happened. Take time to get outside as much as you can muster. Is there a local church you can go to, possibly consider joining? Also there is a organization called Widows and Widowers( WOW groups), that seem to really help each other.Go online there and see, maybe not right now, as it is so soon, but in a month or two. hugs & love to you, Gina

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  2. I was thinking about you and the phrase, He heals the brokenhearted came to me, so I looked it up. It's Isaiah 61:1 a prophecy of the coming savior.

    The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me to teach the good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted...

    It's also in Luke 4:18

    He will heal your brokenheart in time, because He says He will and He cannot lie. I hope that encourages you. Hugs.

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  3. Lorraine - I got here from the comment you made on Tara Dillard's site, Landscape Design, about the loss of your husband of 43 years. I'm joining the many who are wishing comfort for you through this time of profound grief. Not sure it's the right time, but there is a global meditation happening today. I'll be thinking of you.
    www.themastershift.com

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  4. If you are having trouble with the word strong, will you accept grace? You are both!

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  5. Lorraine I am so sorry for your loss. I have just caught up with this occurrence. I really enjoyed the activities and stories you posted about DH and felt that I knew him too.. My heart is saddened...

    I thought I'd share this poem with you that I found on another blog....called Simply put together inspirations.

    Do not stand at my grave and weep;
    I am not there, I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow.
    I am the diamond glints on snow.
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
    I am the gentle autumn rain.

    When you awaken in the morning's hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry;
    I am not there, I did not die.
    Mary Frye


    Lorraine.. I shall keep you in my prayers, I know that God is watching over you he understands, and will bring you through...


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  6. Those are wonderful words of wisdom...and very true. Maintain your faith and the Lord will see you through. Thinking of you often these days.

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  7. Dear, dear, Rainey, words cannot express the sadness I feel for you. I know that if anyone can weather this trial it is you. Your DH was such a bundle of energy, I'm sure that he is still with you as energy is constant. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Hugs
    Jane

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