Saturday, June 8, 2013

Six months

It will be six months tomorrow since my dear husband went to be with God his Creator and the Lover of his soul. How wonderful it must be to be ‘with’ God with no more cares about this world, no more pain, no more sorrow, no sin.

One day I will also be ‘with’ God in the same way, with no more pain, no more sorrow , no more sin.  Right now, God is with me as I walk this life’s road, missing my best friend, my mentor, my love. God comforts me through prayer, His word, through music, through people. He is with me every step of the way.  He has promised to never leave or forsake me.

In spite of the sadness of missing my husband, there is joy to be found in every day too. Seeing butterflies as they flit and drift about, landing on flowers for nectar. The sweet songs of birds that fill the air. The scents of freshly mown grass, of flowers, of delicious foods. Blue skies, rain to water gardens.  There are new friends, and old relationships being renewed.

I have much to be thankful for on this continuing journey.  The journey isn’t the same as it was in the past 43 years, it’s different. God is leading me, showing me new ways to trust in Him.

My prayer for each and every day is:

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning;
for in thee do I trust:
cause me to know the way wherein I should walk;
for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Psa 143:8

May you feel God’s love presence flowing through and surrounding you as you walk your own journey.

FlowerLady Lorraine

 

06-02-zebra

Monday, June 3, 2013

A song, more tears, projects

 

A song has run through my mind for many, many years.  I first heard and sang it as a 10th grader in high school. I boarded at Toccoa Falls Academy in Georgia that year, a Christian Missionary Alliance school and college.  I lived in an old 2 story house with other high school girls. We had house parents and we had a college-age monitor or two.  Each evening before bed we all would gather together, in the main room, and lined up on the stair case in our night clothes, for devotions and songs. 

This song has blessed me so much through the years, but most especially while my dear husband was so ill and since he has gone to be with Jesus.  I got up the nerve to sing it to my husband while he was laying in bed near the end.  He didn’t know the words and he sang along outloud with his own words thanking Jesus for me.  That gets to me every time I think about it.

The song is “Thank you Jesus for all You’ve done” by Ruth G. Hallett. I have tried to find this sung or played by anyone on you tube, but so far haven’t done so.  The melody is sweet. It is a regular song on my heart as I go about my daily business of caring for home, gardens and myself.

Here are the lyrics:

Thank You, Jesus, for all You've done.
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You, Jesus, for vict'ries won,
O thank You, Lord.

For Thy love and tender care,
For Thy Word and answered prayer.
Thank You, Jesus, for all You've done.
Thank You, Lord.

Thank You, Jesus, for love like Thine.
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You, Jesus, for grace divine.
O thank You, Lord.

For Thy cross of Calvary,
For Thy blood that cleanseth me,
Thank You, Jesus, that Thou art mine.
Thank You, Lord.

******

Sunday will make 6 months since my soul mate and best friend, the love of my life, went to be with his Maker. Today I was standing at the window in the bank and the tears just started flowing and I couldn’t stop them.  The lady asked if I was ok, and I told her I had lost my husband in December and that sometimes the grief just sneaks up on me.  She was sorry for my loss, we finished our business and I went on my way.

I didn’t even feel like finishing my errands as it looked like it was going to rain, and after that episode at the bank, I lost all momentum to continue on, so came back home. I’ve cried a couple more times as it just seems to be one of those kinds of days.  Of course, the rainy weather isn’t helping any. We’ve had rain off and on for two weeks and rain is expected every day this week too.  I’m not complaining as we’ve needed the rain after being in drought conditions for several years now.  The grayness just doesn’t help with my sadness, if you know what I mean.

The projects that have come my way are through the wonderful widow’s group I found online, Friends Needing Friends.  Dotti, the founder, called me the other morning to see how I was doing and we chit-chatted awhile, then she asked me if I’d be interested in doing interviews of the ladies in our ‘sisterhood’, for a page of the newsletter that goes out once a month.  That way, we’d all get to know something about each other and it would be beneficial to each of us.  I was thrilled for this opportunity and hope I can do it well, and to the honor and glory of God, and for uplifting each of the ladies as we walk through this journey.

So, I came up with a template for a 3-column page, sent it to Dotti and we’re good to go, I will start interviewing ladies at the next meeting. Another lady will take pictures, so that we will have a face to go with the interview.  This is a wonderful way for us all to get to know each other better.

On Saturday I decided to start a blog for FNF and got it up and played around with it, and emailed Dotti about what I had done and sent her the link.  Sunday morning I was in the vestibule at church (I’ve only been there twice now) she came up to me and is thrilled about the blog.  She said she has been praying about one.  I think that is amazing and look forward to working with her on this blog.  I will keep you all posted and ask that you pray for me, for Dotti and for this group of lovely ladies.

At church Sunday morning, I sat on a back row on the right end, a favorite spot at gatherings for DH and myself through the years.  Dotti came over to me and asked if I would like to sit with she and some other ladies of our group so I said yes and joined them.  It felt good, the service, music and message, were uplifting. I look forward to going again.

God led me to this group and I am so thankful for it. For three ‘old’ friends found here and new friends being made. 

Romans 8:28 ~ A favorite verse since my youth, says this:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Tears come and flow and Jesus is saving them all. One day He will wipe all of our tears away from our faces, replacing them with joy unspeakable and full of glory, in our hearts and souls.

I wish to walk gracefully and tenderly with much love, thankfulness and anticipation as to what God has in store for me until I am reunited with my dear husband once again. Each day is a gift, many lessons to be learned, much to be thankful for.

May you all be drawn closer to Jesus as you continue in this life.

Love, hugs and prayers ~ FlowerLady Lorraine