Here it is the 12th of October. It has been 3 years, 10 months and 3 days since my dear husband vacated the premises here on earth, to be with Jesus.
I am looking forward to our reunion whenever that will be, but until then I am living my life with Jesus, who is my strength when I am weak, He fills me with peace that only He can give, and He brings joy into my life.
I still have times of grief. they can sneak up on me for no apparent reason, then other times reading or seeing something triggers the tears and heartache.
Each day is a gift and I want to see God’s blessings in each one. I want to learn lessons, and always trust in Him.
I just went through my first ‘getting ready’ for a hurricane without him. I was very nervous that’s for sure. Even after posting ‘fear not’ Bible verses in my main blog FlowerLady’s Musings, I ended up having a ‘panic attack’ when looking at the latest update Thursday morning about the storm being a cat 5 and headed toward me. I had prayed that it would move a little eastward, and when I called my brother-in-law, he told me he had just watched the local update and the storm had indeed shifted a little to the east, which meant it wouldn’t be hitting here head on. Now, to me that was really an answer to prayer.
Four young men from the church came on Tuesday afternoon and boarded up my little cottage and the waiting began. The waiting is hard. All day Thursday was calmer than they had predicted, little wind or rain. Then Thursday evening both wind and rain started in squalls, then the wind started picking up and being more constant. It sounded awful from inside, but not as bad as it had been with hurricanes Frances, Jeanne and Wilma, 2004-2005. I had a restless night, little sleep. My feline girl, Miss Tork, kept me company laying across my chest/stomach.
The winds started fading away around 3 in the morning, which was such a relief.
Even though I had had that panic attack, I still knew Jesus was with me, as He is every day, all day, my fears just got the better of me for a bit.
We learn to trust Jesus more when we go through hard/scary times. Our faith is strengthened. I was able to prepare my little place as best I could, being by myself, and with the help of 4 dudes.
I dreamed about my husband in a little snatch of sleep that scary night, before I woke up for the day. He was telling me that the ‘stuff was just stuff, but we have Jesus.’ He said that twice and then kissed me two times on the lips like an exclamation point and was gone. That was a real gift and blessing to me.
When I went outside, I did not know what I’d find after hearing, bangs, slams and thuds during the night. The biggest thing was the top half of a dead pine tree was on the ground at the back of the driveway, which was the big ‘thud’ I’d heard and felt. I am so thankful for no real damages, for the winds not being ‘fierce’ like predicted. We did not lose electricity either.
I am sorry for all who suffered flooding, losing homes & businesses, and for those who lost loved ones also. We don’t know the ‘whys’ of why things happen in our lives, What we do know is that Jesus is with us through good and bad. He does and will work all things out for good.
Today is a new day. I’ve laundry to wash and hang out, I want to restring my weed whacker, and I want to enjoy the beauty and God’s blessings in this day.
May you all be drawn closer to God. May He fill you with His peace, strength, joy and healing.
This is one of my simple beauties in my gardens.
It is the ‘Barnhouse’ rose.